The popular idea of sex machines (thanks especially to porn) is usually a dildo at the end of a long stick attached to a car. The visuals may be intimidating, but Lovense has made it even better with the Lovense Mini Sex Machine (8/10, WIRED Recommends). A smaller, more compact version of its flagship product, the Mini has a powerful engine in a smaller package, with easily adjustable legs that allow you to place the device in the best position.
Most sex machines—including Lovense’s giant sex machine—are big and heavy, and can be difficult to set up, but the Mini alleviates almost every pain point, including price. At $399, it’s the least expensive machine you can find on the market without sacrificing much power. In my testing, it could reach 280 thrusts per minute, although its low weight meant it was more likely to slide on smooth surfaces. That trade-off is worth the portability though. The propulsion engine was also incredibly quiet. It’s possible that someone can still hear you on the other side of the closed door, but I doubt that anyone in the apartment next door can hear you. Unless you’re trying to be heard, that is.
Every machine comes in a box the size of a toolbox, with a convenient handle. I a lot they recommend packing this box to store or transport the machine, but even if you choose not to, the machine’s components are small enough to fit inside an Ikea-sized cube, and at 7 pounds, it’s light enough to carry wherever you want. .
The Lovense Remote app also adds many features that are perfect for long distance couples. You can control the speed and pattern of thrusts from anywhere in the world, and the built-in text and voice/video call features let you do it all in one app. You can even create and share a zoom-style link to let someone control your device and set the link to expire after a set amount of time or a certain number of uses.