How to Slow Down: 7 Ways to Slow Down in a Busy Life | Wit & Delight

Your mind does some interesting math as you get older. I get nauseous thinking about how quickly the last twenty years have passed. In the months leading up to my 40th birthday last year, I kept counting:

If the next twenty years go by as fast as the last, then I’m already sixty—which means I’m actually eighty.

Time x Speed ​​= Life

I felt like a life-sized cardboard cutout of the new millennium.

I was so shocked, I continued to write about my confusion. I felt like a woman walking on a plank. Everyone told me that life was just beginning, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was slipping through my fingers every day—and I was powerless to stop it.

As my sense of self began to surround me, I saw the lies take center stage:

We were told we could be whoever and whatever we wanted.
But the options are endless, and time is limited.
It will never reach enough.

Faced with what my statistics revealed about me, and the reality of time and speed, I realized my problem was telling me where I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I put on my big girl pants, turned to the secrets I had tucked neatly under my pillow at night, and let them shine.

This is where a new truth emerged to replace this lie:

You have everything you need inside of you.
You are perfect. He is enough.

I could not despair of the decline of invisibility. I longed for an experience that I had been denied. Life was not about surviving and being. It was about being whole and feeling human and making room for joy, desire, happiness, joy, connection, love, and wonder.

Life was just beginning—and I was learning to slow down and enjoy it.

Wanting to Slow Down When Life is Fast

In the midst of this call to slow down, my life is speeding up. There will never be a busier season of life than this. My children are blossoming on their own, and this comes with friends, hobbies, sports, and memories to be made as a family. Joe is entering a period of his career where he wants to test his limits, grow into himself, and see what can happen if he uses his talent.

And me. I find myself today overflowing with energy to put into the world.

What does one do when the fullness of life threatens to sweep away the ability to savor life itself?

I’ve been making efforts to slow down every day, despite everything around me. I started small, with very small changes. Today, I’m writing about why slowing down is so important to me and how I slow down in this busy season of life.

Why Slowing Down Is Important To Me

I’m tired. That was one of the biggest secrets I had tucked under my pillow. Life is busy and I don’t have the energy to be proud and sing. What I can do, though, is walk slowly enough to see when I need to rest.

The dichotomy of being bone tired and having a renewed sense of purpose in life is interesting. It’s like learning to tame a new breed of beast, one that responds to compassion rather than dominance, alpha-like control. Life is busy, busy, and entertaining, too. So what does the balance look like? How is it possible to slow down in the busyness of life?

I don’t have a perfect plan. But I’m not willing to go back to “the end” or experience a pervasive sense of inadequacy. Instead, I have a principled approach, a willingness to continue doing these habits, and a lot of self-forgiveness. Because I’m tired. And I’m fine.

How to Slow Down: 7 Ways to Slow Down in a Busy Life

1. Listen for visual cues.

When I’m in a hurry in life, I’ve noticed my speed is reflected in physical symptoms in my body. A few examples include:

• He clenched his jaw
• Short, shallow breathing and finding it unnatural to breathe deeply
• Holding the wheel firmly when I drive
• Sitting with hunched shoulders
• Clumsiness and throwing things away

When I practice slowing down, the most important thing for me is to notice and gently redirect these body responses. I opened my mouth, took a slow breath, loosened the wheel, sat straight and shoulders relaxed. Remember that your physical response to your work may seem different than mine. Listen to what they are for you and slowly begin to redirect them.

2. Monotask.

All my life, I used to multitask. Sometime last month, I was making flan, writing an invitation, and texting people at the same time. When I’m in a hurry in life and multitasking, I feel stressed and I’m more likely to make mistakes.

Now, when I find myself multitasking, I try to redirect. I stop, pick one thing to focus on, and move on to the next thing when I’m done with it.

3. Lower my expectations.

Even though I’ve made slowing down a priority, sometimes I still feel like I should be able to meet my expectations when I’m rushing through life. When I think about it logically, I know that this is impossible.

I haven’t perfected the art of setting expectations, but I’m trying to be honest with myself. I try to communicate what is happening with the people in my life. If I don’t do everything, I try not to stress about it. Because most of the time, if I’m being completely honest, the things I feel pressured to do can wait. Most of the time, it can wait.

As I wrote in a recent House Call post, “When I can’t rush everything, I have to do less, and doing less means I have to know what’s important.” This leads me to my next point:

4. Focus on what matters most.

There are still things to do every day, be it in my work or in my life. I have always had a tendency to procrastinate when I feel stressed, which leads to stress and rush in the future. I am doing everything I can to change this habit. Rather than avoiding it, I’m learning to stay open to procrastination and the discomfort of doing difficult things.

When I feel stressed, I find it helpful to accomplish one small, easy task first. These small accomplishments give me a dopamine boost, ignite motivation, and make me feel like I can do something else. I will then move on to the bigger, more important task and give myself enough time (more than I think I will need) to complete it. By giving myself time and space to complete what’s important rather than avoiding it altogether, I take care of myself now and in the future.

5. Remove the filler.

I am better able to slow down in my daily life when I have more time to relax. Reducing the amount of time I spend on distractions—like answering all the text messages and scrolling through my phone—makes the slow life meaningful.

I’ve become a bit more ruthless about what I actually enjoy eating. I would rather sit still than listen to a podcast. I’ve noticed a lot of TV shows on Netflix aren’t worth the time.

But this is about what you want. No one can tell you what you like.

So choose what makes you happy. If reality TV food is giving back, put it first. If it feels like a distraction, stop it. Only you can be honest with yourself about what you get for your precious attention. Treat it like it’s your own.

6. Accept my personality.

Accepting my humanity is an important step in giving myself the grace to slow down. I had a two-week stretch recently where I made more mistakes than usual—all with consequences for both my pride and my family—and it got me real.

I can beat myself up for mistakes, but it doesn’t make me special, or broken, or different than anyone else.

Playing –more-it’s part of life. It is something we all share.

And it’s one of the best ways to connect with people. In the absence of perfection and excellence, we have a chance to communicate what it means to be human. We often believe that we will be rejected if we talk about our lives, but often this is not the case.

Yes, people are judgmental—and honestly, there’s no better way to find out who you need to start in your inner circle—but there are plenty of people (whom you might want to keep close) who will feel recognized and validated for your mistakes. . Slowing down helped me break the cycle of self-doubt and opened up opportunities to deepen my relationships.

7. Set boundaries between people.

Slowing down requires saying “no” sometimes. One of the ways I have set boundaries in this season of life is to refuse to travel on holidays. This is uncomfortable. I don’t like it. But when we are honest with others about our limitations, we are showing kindness. We say, I want to be with you when I can be with you. Not as a supplement, supplement, or obligation. Nobody wants that.

With the people closest to us, it can be difficult and uncomfortable to set boundaries. But you leave the truth of your experience when you say “yes” to everything. We think this is a sacrifice, but in doing so, we don’t allow the people who love us to support us the way we need to be supported.

Time is a funny thing. Slowing down when life is fast feels scary. That is until you realize that there is a lot of life to be lived where you are to experience it fully.