Like most people, I spend the entire year looking forward to the holiday season. The holidays evoke scenes of warmth, laughter, and picture-perfect memories. But… with that comes the unspoken pressure to create an experience that meets everyone’s expectations. As a result, we meticulously decorate, plan every detail, and scour social media for inspiration—all in pursuit of the perfect vacation. (Sincerely, Nancy Meyers’ A holiday comes to mind.) In striving for perfection—and falling victim to vacation perfectionism—we often miss what really makes this time special. We aim for the perfect picture, and we miss connection, presence, and joy.
Holiday perfectionism can turn even simple rituals into sources of stress. Hello, free. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that a flawless gathering or a beautiful home is essential to the magic of the holiday. But perfectionism creates a barrier that blinds us to the imperfect beauty of this season. By releasing the desire to control all outcomes, we learn to embrace a more relaxed holiday season. Full of genuine connection, spontaneous happiness, and the kind of warmth that comes from just being with our loved ones.
Featured image from our interview with Devon Liedtke by Anastasiya Pudova.
How to Fight Holiday Perfectionism and Embrace True Happiness
Ahead, we’ll explore how to stop loving the holidays—from (finally!) setting limits to embracing the experience. We share thoughtful tips about reframing expectations, saying no to overcommitment, and finding happiness in the moment. Think of it as a gentle way to create a vacation that feels as good as it looks. Because it’s true: creating a truly fulfilling holiday season is an art—where presence, not perfection, is the ultimate gift.
Why do we suffer from holiday perfectionism?
Oftentimes, our love of the holidays stems from our expectations that place a high standard on our celebrations. We are constantly surrounded by stylish images on social media and Hallmark-coded movies that present the perfect version of the season.
At the same time, the desire to recreate our childhood memories can make holiday traditions a source of stress. Nostalgia can lead us to pursue an idealized version of past festivals, and it’s easy to be disappointed when things don’t go as planned. The “comparison trap” makes this even more difficult. As we scroll through social media, it’s easy to measure our unfiltered lives against these curated highlights. This can make us feel like we’re out of balance, ultimately taking us away from the true spirit of the season.
Embracing Imperfection: Changing Your Mindset
Instead of planning a flawless celebration, try reframing your goals to focus on communication and happiness. Think about what makes the holidays special for you and your loved ones. It could be sharing a meal, laughing at memories, or enjoying each other’s company. By putting joy in the midst of your celebrations, you can let go of the need for everything to be perfect.
Another important step is to realize what is really important during the holidays. Make a conscious effort to prioritize family, friends, and meaningful moments over what your vacation looks like. Setting goals instead of rigid expectations can help keep stress at bay. Think about what you want to feel during the holidays rather than stressing about how things should look. By setting realistic goals and allowing for flexibility, you can enjoy a holiday season that emphasizes presence over perfection.
How to Stop Holiday Perfectionism
This all starts with making your celebrations feel manageable. Start with careful planning—outline your vacation activities and prioritize what’s really important. Simplifying your planning can help you avoid the hassles that often come with trying to do it all. (Who else has been there?) Focus on the important things. In other words, keep what makes sense and let go of what doesn’t.
Sending energy is also important. Don’t be afraid to accept help from family and friends. Trust me, people love to help, and it’s an easy way to bring everyone together. It can be difficult not being able to control all the details, but I’ve learned that accepting support can lead to unexpected happiness.
Finally, taking care of your health during this busy time should not be neglected. Breathwork, mindfulness—even if that’s just mentally indulging in your favorite holiday pastime—and giving yourself plenty of rest are important. Meet the place in the moment, and you will become familiar with the magic of that moment.
Limiting and Managing Vacation Stress
Setting boundaries is important in managing stress. Start by talking openly with your family about your needs. Gently setting limits can help everyone understand what you can realistically handle. It’s perfectly acceptable to express your limits and put your mental health first in the midst of chaos.
Another important step is to avoid overcommitment. Remember, it’s okay to say no to events or activities that don’t align with your schedule or priorities. Focus on activities and activities that truly bring you joy. (Cookie swap? I’m in.) Finally, don’t forget to make time for self-care. The holiday season can be busy and overwhelming, so make sure you check in regularly. Get inspired by Camille’s holiday self-care routine. Whether it’s a moment of quiet meditation, a favorite hobby, or just relaxing, taking care of yourself will allow you to enjoy the season even more.
Learning to Accept an Imperfect Vacation
When we let go of the pressure of perfectionism, we open ourselves up to spontaneous moments and shared memories.
Over the years, I have discovered that the beauty of the season lies in its unpredictability. It’s those random events and adventures that tend to be the most popular stories to tell in the years to come.
Embrace chaos and imperfection. When things *definitely* don’t live up to your expectations, focus your attention on what’s important—your loved ones, heart-to-heart conversations, and the joy of being together. By prioritizing authenticity over the desired holiday, you’ll create a more fulfilling season that celebrates the beauty and ugliness of being human. Step back, take a breath, and allow yourself to enjoy this moment of connection and love without the weight of perfectionism.