Dear We are teachers,
I am in my second year teaching high school and about to retire. The dread I have knowing that every time I enter an assignment, post a newsletter, or make a new announcement in Google Classroom, I will be met with at least five parent emails is overwhelming. They want exceptions, explanations, extra help, and special assignments. I understand that this is part of my job, but since the parents are pushing on this scale, there is nothing I can do. Is there some kind of restriction I can set, or should I just change schools?
– Go ahead
Dear BO,
My first recommendation is, if possible and appropriate, ask parents to give students the opportunity to speak for themselves and be see I asked you these questions. Let that be something you emphasize at the beginning of next year in your parent’s book/syllabus.
My other three major recommendations center around these ideas:
Transparency goes a long way.
Pushy parents tend to be more forceful when they don’t quite understand what’s going on. A weekly newsletter (check out our free customizable templates here!) and a shared calendar with important dates and updates can go a long way. See what you can do to make sure parents know enough so they don’t feel completely lost.
Work smart, not hard.
With pushy parents, it can feel tempting to go into robot servant mode to keep them happy. Spending hours crafting careful emails, turning your back on Bonkers parent requests, saying yes before you’ve had a chance to fully consider their question.
But remember: You came for their children first. Save a lot of your teaching, feedback, and meeting energy theirs requirements. Save the energy you usually spend on parents by keeping emails polite but short (anything more than a few short paragraphs should be a meeting), set up emails for common questions, and bookmark our suggested answers to tricky questions.
Think ahead.
Start revising your syllabus for next year now. Write down what types of questions you get most often and use those to create policies, systems, or information centers that will reduce your workload in the coming year. See how teachers in your group block parents. Don’t wait until next summer to work on your syllabus—you’ll forget!
Dear We are teachers,
I am a professional working on my teaching certificate. I have a new teacher this year who is struggling but very resistant to feedback from me. He has trouble getting the class to be quiet, listen to him, or do any work. When I suggest to him the techniques I have seen work, he shuts his mouth and tells me that he will take advice from me when I have my certificate. Should I go to my principal?
—He’s Trying to Help You!
Dear JTTH,
Wow! I feel for both of you.
On the other hand, it is good if the para-teacher and the class can have a collaborative relationship: learning from each other and improving without giving up. However, on the other hand, both giving feedback and getting it right ARE VERY fragile processes: they must be based on trust.
In the meantime, I will work to build trust between the two of you and keep the answer to yourself. It is the duty of another person in a legal position to evaluate his performance (his evaluator). If your work relationship gets to a point where you feel like you can re-balance, great! If not and things are still bad, ask for a different classroom teacher for next year.
Dear We are teachers,
This is my first year teaching middle school. At the beginning of the year, I create a care cupboard for my students with snacks, hygiene products, school supplies, and other products that they or their family may need. I also provide a pencil case full of stock and a drawer of fidgets. But here’s the problem: Almost everything goes away in a few days—sometimes in a few hours. I want to continue to provide these things, but I also want to make sure that students who need them get them, not just students who want them. Does that make sense? Am I a bad person?
—Caring Is Sharing … OK?
Dear CISR,
First of all, you are not a bad person. You are a great person for wanting to connect your students with what they need! I would like to guess that the difficulty is in your finances, not in the idea that the products are being used. It’s completely understandable.
I would encourage you to consider that the students they want and the students they need can be one and the same. BUT that doesn’t mean you have to burn your money meeting these requirements.
Ask others to help put together your wardrobe: your principal first, then crowdfunding between family and friends. Create a schedule for when you resell the closet—say once a month—and make sure your readers know when the day is. Finally, rotate the class time around when the maintenance closet starts to open to ensure that your last-term students aren’t left in the dust.
However, I can stop you from distributing free fidget. You can keep those on your desk for your students with IEPs.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We are teachers,
It’s my third week teaching at a new school this year, but my 10th year teaching 8th grade. My new principal called me last week and said several parents complained that I was “overstepping” my boundaries as a teacher by putting my opinion on “non-academic, non-disciplinary issues.” When I asked for examples, he pointed out that I told the student that we do not use the word “gay” in a derogatory way and we do not use the “R-word” at all. One parent complained that I corrected a student who rolled his eyes when he found out he was in the same group as another student he didn’t like. I waited for the principal to make sure he wasn’t on me, but he never did! I don’t want to get on my new principal’s bad side, but I thought kindness was part of my job. Should I get clarification from him?
– Overcoming the bad rap