Happy Festivus, everyone: And have I got your ear!

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Dear friends, every year on the 23rd of December, we gather to celebrate that most popular holiday: Festivus. Festivus was founded in the mid-1960s by a New Jersey family, one of whose sons grew up writing for television. It was introduced to all of us in the December 1997 episode of “Seinfeld,” by the show’s executive, Frank Costanza, George’s father. It has been revered by curmudgeons everywhere ever since.

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This strange ceremony usually involves an unadorned aluminum pole, a Festivus family dinner, strong energy and the all-important “Airing of Grievances”, where, after dinner, each family member explains how all the other members have let them down. last year.

Ahem! If I may have the courage to speak for Canadian consumers and direct my feelings to our public officials, what I want to say is, borrowing the immortal words of Frank Costanza, that: “We have a lot of problems with you people; now you will hear about it!”

The first official to be included in the other complaints is Health Minister Mark Holland. Shame on you for moving forward with the vape flavor ban, even though vaping is 95 percent less dangerous than smoking and is an effective tool to help people quit smoking in large part because of the flavor. Minister Holland also gave himself unprecedented power in the last federal budget to simply skip the Health Canada approval process, and then used it to limit nicotine pouches to one flavor and limit their sale to pharmacies only. Nicotine sachets are also a useful tool to help smokers quit and are 99 percent less harmful than cigarettes. It is unlikely that Canada will ever become “smoke-free” if we limit seniors’ access to reduced-risk products.

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And at the federal level, Senator Patrick Brazeau, most famous for losing a boxing match to then-MP Justin Trudeau, is ramping up his fight against alcohol. The MP’s recovery from alcoholism is admirable but his policy proposals are scrooge-like. You are looking for cancer warnings about alcohol. Yes, consumers should be aware of the dangers involved in drinking alcohol, but what exactly are they? Men who drink two drinks a day increase their risk of colorectal cancer by 0.0028 percent and their risk of all cancers by 0.0099 percent – 9.9 percent. Fortunately, a new report from the National Academies of Sciences in the United States concludes that moderate alcohol consumption, compared to those who do not drink, is associated with a 16 percent lower risk of death from the cause. Should that be included in the bottle as well?

Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s latest threat in the Canada-US tax debate earns him the right to be scorned over the holidays. It’s great that he’s modernizing Ontario’s liquor retail system and expanding consumer choice with private sale options, but his threat to block the LCBO from buying US wine and spirits could loom large by 2025. Donald Trump’s bills are nonsense, but our response to them shouldn’t be to limit choice for Ontario drinkers. Why are they being punished for the president-elect’s unenlightened views on trade?

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And shame on all the policymakers who suggested that Canada retaliate against Trump’s spending. A government that raises prices punishes its consumers. Should we respond to Donald Trump punishing US consumers by following the strategy and punishing Canadian consumers? Absolutely not, especially when you consider that Canada imported $277 billion worth of goods from the US in 2023. At a time when food inflation is still a problem and the rising cost of living is hitting everyone, the rising cost of goods is the biggest of all of us. The trading partner will go back and up.

American politicians are full of bad ideas that we don’t need to imitate. Trump’s nominee to be the head of Health and Human Services, RFK Jr, suggested that cell phones cause cancer, vaccines cause autism and red food dye causes health problems. Taxes are also absurd. Enough nonsense!

That’s because of complaints this year – although it’s because space is tight. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone. And happy Festivus to us all!

David Clement is the North American news manager at the Consumer Choice Center.

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