No coming of age TV show or high school movie is complete without a Halloween episode or party scene. And if you’ve been raised with these things, you’re probably still waiting for your Halloween to be as wild, fun and spine-chilling as it was when you were too young or too self-conscious to be a sweet pumpkin. But, it turns out those creative minds in the writers’ room were just trying to spice up another day at work because, IRL, Halloween is usually just another little Thursday, only with costumes on fire…
A Good Party
In the fictional Halloween of our youth, the entire high school will be the richest kid at a fictional town’s Halloween bash. Think thousands of moody lights, fog machines, themed cocktails and eyeball mocktails and a vampire DJ who might not have Mark Ronson. In real life, Halloween party planning, whether for kids, teens or adults, is usually a last-minute group discussion where half the guests bail, and the rest show up with lukewarm wine, half-hearted candy and maybe a broomstick.
Also, maybe we don’t go in the right circles, but nobody really lives in a house like that.
Eye-Popping Home Decor
It’s only natural to wish you grew up in the Dunphy household, and never made it past Halloween. You can always count on Modern Family boys to go all out in pursuit of Halloween perfection with a haunted house on the block, thousands of dollars worth of decorations and lots of crazy pranks. In fact, people have jobs. They just don’t have time to come up with these things. Oh Phil, please take me Us.
Sophisticated Costume
I’m a rat, duh! Since i The girls said The voiceover goes, “In the world of girls, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls say anything about it”. The same is used in shows like Gossip Girlwhere Halloween costumes were appropriate for the Met Gala, and for sitcoms like that New Girl, How I Met Your Mother and, of course, Friendswhere the clothes were smoking hot or smart, funny and, above all, actually organized. In real life — at least, when you’re out of college and have real responsibilities — drugstores bought quick-split parts when they happened to do laundry. And if you take clow and go risqué more a la The girls said? It’s on social media forever.
The Perfect Crunchy Outdoor Setting
Who doesn’t wish their neighborhood looked like Star Hollow on Halloween — or really, all year long? Opened Gilmore Girlseach pumpkin is perfectly round and perfectly shiny and the weather shines beautifully all the time, making for a very flattering light – not that any bleary-eyed citizens need it. Actually at this time of year, the streets are littered with discarded wigs and sad-looking pumpkins with the heads of drunken people dressed as wolves.
A Magical Trick-or-Treat Experience
How many movies have you seen that set the scene for Halloween with adorable children dressed in handmade clothes happily filling the colorful baskets of their dreams? In fact, at 8PM most people hide inside with the lights off and “We’re all out of candy!” sign at the door – and in the age of food allergies and wellness, many of those sweet songs are raisins and disappointments.
Award Winning Pumpkins
You can blame Pinterest, or you can blame the many movies and TV shows with amazing backgrounds that we now realize were filmed by Hollywood professionals with amazing skills, after growing up thinking that one day we, too, will wake up. with the skills to transform a root vegetable into a piece of modern art. In fact, pumpkin carving involves slippery dirt, constant frustration, and often results in a sad, droopy one-eyed cat face – and many finger injuries (still, real blood adds some authenticity). In addition, you have to figure out what to do with the thigh bump after that.
Perfectly-Scripted Terror
Shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dawson’s Creek and even The Simpsons had some terrifyingly good Halloween episodes where strange events occurred or were thought of as shocking. In real life, the scariest thing you can experience on Halloween is running out of wine or realizing your costume doesn’t have a pocket to charge your phone. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll see a flashing traffic light on your way home.
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