Billie Lourd Reflects On Mom Carrie Fisher’s Struggle With Addiction

Billie Lourd he misses his mother Carrie Fisher in what would be star Wars the legend’s 68th birthday.

Fisher died of sudden cardiac arrest at the age of 60 in December 2016. An autopsy concluded that the actor had traces of cocaine, heroin and MDMA in his system at the time of his death.

“My mother would have been 68 years old today. Dead man birthdays are weird to say the least,” Lourd, 32, wrote on Instagram on Monday, October 21, alongside a photo of herself and Fisher celebrating a former birthday.

“On my mother’s birthday every year, I try to celebrate her as much as possible, but today I really wanted to celebrate with her,” Lourd continued. “In some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of his love, in other years it makes me angry, in others I feel numb but today when I wake up I feel sad. I didn’t want to celebrate, I just wanted my mother.”

I American Horror Story The actress continued, “My sadness was so overwhelming that I googled ‘average death age woman’ (ooohhh what a fun google billie!!! I promise the rest of my google search history has a slightly more fun vibe?!) and google said so! it was 80.2. My mother died at the age of 60. 60 is too young to die. Then I googled drug deaths (another happy morning google!!!) and it’s over 100 thousand people a year. “

Lourd went on to explain how she tried to help Fisher overcome drug addiction, which actress Princess Leia spoke about during her lifetime.

“I did everything in my power to help my mother stop drinking alcohol but unfortunately my mother was never able to escape her addiction. “But during his lifetime, he always told others about the ups and downs of that struggle in the hope that it would help them escape their addiction,” Lourd wrote. “As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way. It is the same for us who are affected by that struggle. I send my love to anyone who has lost a drug addiction. You are not alone. ❤️”

Lourd recently recalled how her role in acting Gia Coppolanew movie, The Ultimate Showgirlhelped him feel closer to Fisher and his late grandmother, Debbie Reynoldswho died one day after Fisher.

“When I met Gia, I talked about the relationship between my mother and grandmother. Playing this character made me feel really bad because it felt like [Pamela Anderson’s character] Shelley was my grandmother and I got to be my mother,” Lourd said at the Toronto International Film Festival premiere in September.

He added: “I understood my mother on a deeper level than before and it was a great experience.”

The Ultimate Showgirl stars Anderson as Las Vegas singer Shelley, who must come to terms with her new reality after her show abruptly closes after 30 years. Lourd plays her daughter, Hannah.

If you or someone you know has a substance abuse problem, contact the National Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).