Recently, we asked teachers to share the silly dress code rules they have to abide by. And they were! We received many positive responses, and were shocked by many of them.
For the record, these laws came from teachers all over the world, in all kinds of schools—public, private, charter, union, non-union, high school, elementary, you name it. (All shared by real teachers, though, so we keep their identities private.)
Here are some things that are hard to believe.
1. If they float you can’t wear them.
Wow, you better buy steel shoes! At one school, a student wrote that their shoes should pass an ancient witch-hunt test. “If your shoes are floating, no one is an expert. The principal brought in a bowl of water and ‘tested’ them when he saw fit. When my shoe got soaked, he gave it to me when it was wet and said, ‘Hmmm … I could have sworn …'”
2. Only one horse per month.
Yes—we also gasped when we heard this. Another teacher responded that their principal had banned dirty buns. We just want to know which public school superintendent has time to follow this up?
3. No hats, even on break work.
It’s always frustrating when school rules override common sense. “Our former superintendent/principal closed the doors of the institution, even outside. I had skin cancer and asked if I could wear a hat outside. He told me it wasn’t ‘work.’ I had to go to a specialist and get a written letter saying I needed it and I had to get the union involved—all to prevent another cancer.” At least this one has a happy ending. After complaints from all the employees, this crazy rule was put on the books.
4. No capri pants.
The teacher who reported this said, “[My principal] HATED capri pants for some strange reason. He was about 6 feet tall. I wonder if that had anything to do with it.”
5. You and your team must be the same.
Most schools require teachers to wear some type of uniform, but what if that uniform is too familiar? “In the school I attended, all the teachers had to wear a red shirt and khakis every Monday to achieve unity,” said another teacher. “I made it a point to never shop at Target after work on Mondays for that reason.”
6. Women must wear pantyhose … and we will do random checks.
Stocks (aka hose) were available de rigeur for women for many years. “Many years ago I had a principal who wanted us to wear pantyhose,” said an elderly teacher. “He checked every day. He would go and touch your calf to make sure you were wearing them. If he suspected that you were kneeling, he would make you lift your skirt.” It’s hard to imagine that behavior that is happening today, but a surprising number of schools still require female teachers to wear pantyhose. “I had a friend who was a principal who made them wear nylons every day. Even when they are wearing jeans and a school shirt. In the Texas heat!”
Our favorite stock story comes from a teacher who decided to take this ridiculous school rule as a reality. When he was told that he had to wear a hose every day, he tied it around his neck like a scarf!
7. No jeans … ever. Even on working days there are no students.
Teachers who are allowed to wear jeans every day are the envy of those who can’t. Many schools do not allow these denim pants into the classroom, even for teachers who spend half the day on the floor with their children. In one school we heard that jeans are not allowed even on teacher’s working days if you are cleaning your classroom. Of course, even when jeans are allowed, they are not always right. “At the school where I worked, we were only allowed to wear New York & Company and Express jeans. So 90% of us have never worn jeans,” said one teacher.
8. Ankles must be covered. And no pants with pockets.
We can maaybe understand why jeans aren’t allowed in all schools, but some of the rules we’ve seen about school pants are just ridiculous. One school forbids pants with drawstrings. One allows any color of denim but blue. Many teachers say that their dress code does not allow them to wear pants that show their ankles. And then there’s perhaps the craziest of them all: “I once had a principal who wouldn’t allow pants to have pockets.”
9. If you show your feet, the nails should be polished.
Another popular debate is whether teachers should be allowed to wear open-toed shoes, including sandals and flip-flops. We can see the potential safety issues here, but this school rule has nothing to do with avoiding broken toes: “If you wear sandals, your toenails must be painted.” Does that work for men too?
10. Female teachers must wear makeup, and only wear certain lipsticks.
Believe it or not, some schools require female teachers to wear makeup every day. Of course, there are some rules that go along with that, including this gem: “Teachers can only use red or brown lipstick. There are no pink, nude, or black colors.”
11. Do not roll up your shirt sleeves.
One teacher recounts: “At one time in my school, male teachers were not allowed to roll up their shirt sleeves as they saw fit. Instead they were told they would get an email when it was hot enough to be allowed to roll up their sleeves. Naturally they never got the email as the people who made those decisions were sitting in air conditioned offices all day.”
12. No UGGs.
People have many reasons to hate UGG boots, including the potential crime against fashion. But this school rule has a different reason: “The owner of our school banned the teachers from wearing UGGs because he said they were made from the skins of dead emu.” The truth? No. Is it funny? Yes.
13. Leave your hoodies at home.
At one school, teachers prefer not to be seen wearing hooded jackets. “Our principal said that these are the things that criminals wear. So I’m wearing one in our staff photo. ” A smooth thief, indeed!
14. Avoid comfortable clothes.
Some school rules could actually use more clarification. Here’s the dress code of another primary school: “If you’re comfortable you don’t need to change when you get home from work, you’re too comfortable to work.”
15. No outie belly buttons allowed.
We understand that it requires teachers to wear shirts that cover their buttocks, but this takes it a step further: “Female teachers must wear a bandage on their stomachs when they are pregnant.” Because being pregnant while teaching isn’t hard enough.
16. No black underwear.
One teacher shared this shocking rule with us: “We can’t wear black underwear.” We don’t want to know anything other than that.