As the year 2024 draws to a close, people look back to assess their lives and think about what can be done in 2025 to find a more fulfilling life. In doing so, you may see a paradox: Why do you have great things in your life—perhaps a fulfilling job, a loving family, a cozy home—but these things seem to have limited influence on your daily happiness. ?
At the same time, there can be negative things around us—cracks in relationships, cyberbullying, poor performance at work—and it seems that we tend to adapt to these ailments, so we’re less likely to try to change them. .
In other words, we stop noticing what was always there. Here’s how you can change that.
Know Adaptability
Habituation is a fundamental feature of our brain—the tendency to respond gradually to constant or familiar things.
Imagine walking into a coffee shop. At first the smell of freshly brewed coffee is amazing, but after about 20 minutes, you can’t smell it anymore. Your sense of smell stops responding—they get used to it. And just as you get used to the smell of coffee, you may get used to more complex aspects of your life.
The challenge is to regain sensitivity, both to the big things in life, so that we can feel happiness, and to the bad things that we have stopped seeing that we can change if we try. So, how disdo you live?
Delete the Good
The answer is found in this wonderful quote from economist Tibor Scitovsky: “Happiness is caused by partial and occasional satisfaction.”
Consider a song you like—would you enjoy it more if you listened to it continuously from beginning to end, or with short breaks? Ninety-nine percent of people say “no” when there is a break. However, research shows that people enjoy the song more when they listen to it during breaks. Why? If you listen to a song over and over again, the initial pleasure you get from it diminishes over time. However, the breaks create a distraction, so every time the song comes back, the excitement level rises.
To fight addiction and increase happiness we need to eat the good things in life little by little. Whether it’s a Netflix show, chocolate cake, or new love—it’s a treat, rather than an indulgence.
Swallows All Evil
On the other hand, if you need to complete an unpleasant task—housework, administrative work—do it once. Research shows that people suffer less when they have to listen to an unpleasant sound (like the sound of a hoover) continuously than when they take a break. If you hear the noise regularly, the “pain” you feel at first will decrease over time. However, the breaks create a disturbance, so every time the noise returns, the level of suffering rises again.
Experiments in Life
What about aspects of your life that you suspect may be causing stress and anxiety, but you can’t really tell how much they’re affecting you because they’re always there, so you don’t try to change them? They look in the background like the constant noise of the AC—you don’t realize how much the noise affects you until someone turns it off and suddenly you feel so much better.
Consider social media: Is it bad for you? In one study, researchers paid half of the participants $100 each to quit social media for a month, while the other half continued life as usual. At the end of the experiment, the “quit” group was happy and slightly depressed. Most importantly, they were surprised. They didn’t realize how bad the field was affecting them.
In 2025, the test of life. Remove certain elements from your daily routine for a while, one at a time, and add new ones. Measure and assess the impact on your life, so you can keep those aspects that bring you joy and purpose, and eliminate those that don’t.
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