The last Thanksgiving I ever spent away from home was in 2010. I was a 23-year-old professional actor, fresh out of theater school and on the road with plans. We were a small company of actors, musicians, and professionals in Winston-Salem, North Carolina—a few miles from our homes. The company decided that our Thanksgiving dinner would be a potluck. Everyone would bring a dish that would usually decorate their family’s table, and instead we would have a meal full of each other’s traditions. I immediately knew what dish I wanted to bring: grandma’s stuffing.
As the sweetness of the cornbread hit my tongue, my eyes began to well up with tears. It was a taste of home.
As I sat at our Thanksgiving table that year, I remember staring at my plate. Yes, it was a little different than what I was used to, but I was grateful for this chapter of my life with new friends by my side and a new plate of food in front of me. Grandma’s stuffing was my first bite, and as soon as the sweetness of the cornbread hit my tongue, my eyes welled up with tears. It was a taste of home.
How to Find a Home for the Holidays
I never knew the magic of tradition until I found myself celebrating Thanksgiving in North Carolina. Finding ways to connect with what’s most important to you can make vacations away from home take on a special meaning. Read on for a few ideas that can help you feel the warmth and magic of the holiday season, no matter how far away you are from your loved ones.
1. Cook a family recipe
Food can provide more than nourishment, especially during the holidays, and I experienced it firsthand. Food traditions bring families together, weaving tradition onto our plates and creating powerful feelings of longing, connection, and comfort. Grandma’s teasing made me feel close to my family, even though we were miles apart.
Call a family member and ask for the family recipe, then make it yourself. This experience taught me how truly special passing down our family recipes can be. It is a feeling I will never forget.
2. Have a visible circle
This pandemic has taught us that we can still connect with our loved ones through technology, and scheduling video calls is a great way to share time and space, even when you’re apart. Share a meal together, or better yet, prepare a meal with someone you love on FaceTime in your kitchen. I was sick over Thanksgiving last year and couldn’t spend time with my family, and while I was incredibly sad, the video chat I had with them was memorable and heartfelt. I was still able to indulge in my family’s Thanksgiving meal, which further strengthens my belief in the magic of family cooking.
3. Create new traditions
As our lives change and change, so do our cultures. Some traditions may no longer exist due to distance, changing relationships, or new additions to your family. If you find yourself away from home for the holidays, discuss how you can create your own holiday magic in a new way. If you’d like to stay connected with loved ones far away, consider some virtual traditions, such as watching a holiday movie together, playing virtual games, or holding regular phone calls. Or maybe it’s time to create new traditions. Take the time to really think about what’s important to you during the holidays, and then make time for what’s most important to you.
4. Practice gratitude
Reflect on tangible relationships and practice gratitude for them, even if you find yourself apart. Journal about your shared memories, make a gratitude list, and call them and tell them what you wrote. Really connecting to these feelings can make you feel closer to your loved ones, but sharing them will bring you both closer.
5. Wrap and mail gifts
Let your family and friends know you’re still thinking of them by sending gifts in the mail. You can even organize a physical gift opening or organize a gift exchange with other family members. A virtual Secret Santa can be so much fun, everyone gets together on a video call to open presents and guess who their Secret Santa is. Technology is making it easier than ever to stay connected visually, so don’t be afraid to reach out.
6. Volunteer
Connecting with others in person is still important, and spreading kindness and holiday cheer through volunteer work is a great option. A simple Google search can help you find volunteer opportunities in your town, or it could be as simple as checking in with your friends and neighbors. Is there someone in your area who needs help, or would like some company? Giving back will not only lift your spirits, but the spirits of those you help as well.
7. Stay positive
Being away from loved ones during the holidays can be challenging. It will stir up difficult feelings. And while it’s important to work through these feelings as they arise, it’s also important not to dwell on them for too long. Look for the good in your life, no matter how small. Focus on things that bring you joy, like the warmth of the fireplace, staying at home, and your favorite pjs. Expressing gratitude instead of focusing on all that is lacking builds and empowers you.
8. Have fun with self-care
An evening spent in front of the fire with a cup of something warm can be a great way to honor the holiday. Although it may not be ideal, taking care of yourself and leaning into your favorite comforts creates a peaceful environment, away from the chaos. Doing something special at home that you wouldn’t normally do can make a vacation memorable. Run yourself a bubble bath, wrap yourself in the softest blanket you have, and take the time to read that book you’ve been meaning to get to. It’s worth it.